Three Little Gundam Pilots
by suppi-kero-chans
Summary: What would happen if the Gpeople were cast in the unforgetable story of The Three Little Pigs as lovable chibis?


Lots and lots of Treize-bashing... ^_^* I love Treize-sama, I really do. I honestly don't think I could do something like this to him if I didn't. I'll write him a good fic to make up for this one... 

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[_The setting is a small house in the middle of a large field. From inside the house there comes a loud scream and muffled rants._] 

Voice From the Sky- Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a… [_more banging noises form inside…_] um… happy family of Gundam pilots. There was a mama Gundam pilot… 

Trowa- [_from in the house_] NO! 

Voice From the Sky - Ahem! I said, there was a mama Gundam pilot… 

Trowa- [_still inside_] No there wasn't! 

Voice From the Sky - Trowa, if you don't come out right now I swear I'll give Duo sugar and lock you in a four-foot box with him for- 

Trowa- [_still in the house_] Fine! 

Voice From the Sky - Any ways. Let's try this again. There was a mama Gundam pilot, [_Trowa, wearing a floral-print house dress and a bow in his hair, opens the door of the house and walks out, his arms crossed over his chest_] and three little Gundam pilots. [_Chibi Duo, Wufei, and Quatre emerge from the house looking cute like they always do._] Mama Trowa said she needed to talk to them. 

Mama Trowa- [_mad_] I need to talk to you. 

Duo- [_sweetly, batting his eyes cutely_] Yes, Mama Trowa? [Wufei tries not to laugh as Quatre looks concerned] 

Mama Trowa- [_same monotone_] You have lived at home your entire lives. It's time for you to go make your own fortunes in the world. 

Duo- [_blinks_] Boink, boink! O_O 

Quatre- [_slowly_] Um… Tro- I mean, Mama Trowa- God that sounds weird- we're only fifteen. 

Wufei- Yeah. And I'm fourteen. 

Mama Trowa- Tell that to her. [_points up at the sky._] 

Voice From the Sky - Shut up. I can still find that box… 

Mama Trowa- [quickly] Okay, okay! Um… I don't care. Now, um, leave. 

Duo, Wufei, and Quatre- [_blink making a cute little `boink, boink' sound._] 

Mama Trowa- So, um, go. [_makes shooing gestures_] Now. Leave. [_Mama Trowa goes back in the house. The boys shrug and start walking down a path that leads some where. Duo accidentally knocks down a cardboard tree._] 

Duo- Um… Oops. [_picks up tree_] 

Quatre and Wufei- [_blink_] Boink, boink! [_They continue walking, trying to ignore the tree thing._] 

Voice From the Sky - Later that day, the boys come to a fork in the road. 

Quatre- [_excited, pointing to the place where the path splits_] Look! Voice From the Sky was right! [_claps giddily_] 

Duo and Wufei- [_blink_] Boink, boink! 

Voice From the Sky - The boys decide they should split up. So, Quatre went down one path and Duo and Wufei went down the other. [_Quatre looks nervous as the other two leave and he is suddenly alone._] 

Quatre- Um… I need a place to stay. 

Voice From the Sky - Then, a man carrying a load of straw walked by. 

Quatre- [_blinks and stares_] Boink, boink! Um… Zechs? 

Zechs- Just offer to take the hay. [_impatiently begins to tap his foot_] Well? 

Quatre- Oh, um… Can I have that hay? 

Voice From the Sky - [_Mad, she stomps her foot as her Muse giggles._] It's straw, not hay! Get the line right! 

Quatre- [_sweatdrops_] Can I have that straw? 

Zechs- [_shrugging and walking away_] Sure. 

Quatre- Thank you. [_looks up at the sky_] Now what? 

Voice From the Sky - [_sighs_] Build a house. 

Quatre- [_confused_] From what? 

Voice From the Sky - The hay! 

Quatre- You said it was straw. 

Voice From the Sky - [_yells, knocking poor chibi Quatre over_] I don't care! Just build a friggen house! 

Quatre- [_small, whiny voice_] We shouldn't be fighting at all! (1) 

Voice From the Sky - [_sigh_] God, don't let me kill him. This is a children's story. Please, no violence… [_Quatre sweatdrops and begins franticly trying to build a house._] 

Notes- (1) That was taken from the other Treize fics I read. I thought it was funny. 

MEANWHILE… 

Duo- I spy with my little eye something that is… GREEN! 

Wufei- [_dully_] Grass? 

Duo- [_happily, oblivious to his friend's tone_] Your turn! 

Wufei- [_sigh_] I spy with my little eye something that is round. [_There is nothing round in the scene -except Wufei's head, but that doesn't count- and it is obvious Wufei doesn't care. Duo searches to no avail._] 

Duo- [_pouting, looking cuter than ever as he plays with his braid_] I don't see anything! 

Wufei- Oh. Must've passed it. 

Duo- [_cheering up_] My turn! I spy- 

Voice From the Sky - [_cutting in_] Suddenly Wufei and Duo came to another fork in the road- 

Wufei- [_muttering_] Thank God. 

Voice From the Sky - and the two boys decided they should split up. [_Duo walks one way while Wufei disappears down the other trail._] 

Duo- [_Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he begins singing to himself._] All that she wants/ is another baby!/ She'll be gone tomorrow, boy./ All that she wants- 

Voice From the Sky - Ahem! A man walks by carrying a bundle of sticks. 

Duo- [_blinks_] Boink, boink! Hi, Howard. 

Howard- [_sets bundle down_] Hiya, Duo. Um… I got these sticks for ya. 

Duo- [_blink_] Boink, boink! Why? [_Howard shrugs and walks away, leaving the sticks in the middle of the road. He is once more off to get drunk._ (2)] Um… Hey, Voice From the Sky, can you help me out? 

Voice From the Sky - [_groans_] You're suppose to build a house. 

Duo- With what? 

Voice From the Sky - The sticks. 

Duo- Why? 

Voice From the Sky - Because the story says so. 

Duo- But wouldn't cement and bricks and, like, siding be more useful? 

Voice From the Sky - [_yelling_] Don't any of you know this story? God! Build the house, Duo. Build. The. House. 

Duo- [_grumbling_] Okay. Okay. [_Half-heartedly, he picks up a few sticks and builds a little tee-pee sorta thing._] I feel so stupid. [_The tee-pee falls down._] 

Note- (2) Check out episode 6 (I think) where Duo is talking about `wondering how long he'll be able to see the moon like this [from Earth]…'. In the background Howard says "Nothing like a good cup of Java…", but he walks on screen holding a bottle, not a coffee cup. And then there's the tone he uses- "Yeah. A graveyard." He is so far gone! @_@ 

MEANWHILE… 

Wufei- I am Wufei! [_He does a cute little kick with his cute, little chibi leg._] I fight for peace and justice! [_He punches the air like he's fighting something._] I will avenge those who have been wronged! I will bring solace to this world! I will- (3) 

Voice From the Sky - [_cooing_] Awe! Kawaii! 

Wufei- [_stops, blushing_] ONNA! 

Voice From the Sky - Wufei-chan walked along by himself until he spotted someone standing by the side of the road leaning on a pile of bricks. 

Wufei- Hello, Heero. What are you doing here? 

Heero- [_sadly_] I didn't get a main part. I don't think she loves me any more… [_looks up at the sky with a sarcastic glint in his eyes_] 

Voice From the Sky - Of course I do! There just aren't many major parts. Sorry. I didn't write it. 

Heero-… [_glowers_] 

Voice From the Sky - Any ways… 

Heero- Do you want my bricks? 

Wufei- Sure. I will use them to practice! [_Wufei takes a brick from the pile and hands it to Heero._] Hold this. [_He backs up, takes a couple steps back towards Heero, and kicks the brick in half with a loud battle cry._] YAH! 

Voice From the Sky - [_panicked and sweatdropping furiously_] What the hell are you doing?! [_Muse out-right laughs._] 

Wufei- [_blinks, confused_] Boink, boink! What? I was practicing my defending-justice thingy with the bricks Heero gave me. 

Voice From the Sky - But you're suppose to be building a house! Don't you guys read?! 

Heero and Wufei- [_blink_] Boink, boink! 

Voice From the Sky - [_takes a deep breath_] Okay. Now, Heero, go away. Wufei, pretend you understand and build a house. Alright? 

Wufei- [_nods_] Sure. [_Heero shrugs and walks away._] 

Note- (3) Sounds like Sailor Moon, huh? Scary. 

MEANWHILE… 

[_The setting is a dark cave. Treize is sitting at a table. He is smelling a rose, sipping a martini._] 

Treize- [_sighs_] I'm bored! No one likes me! I'll just have to go out and make some friends! [Treize stands up and leaves the cave, his stupid eye brows flapping in the wind, the sun reflecting off his ghetto, 80's Ken Doll © hair. Suddenly he begins to sing in his annoying, chipmunk voice.] I love youuuuuuuuuu! You love meeeeeeeeeeeee! We're a HAP-py fam-i-leeeee! 

Voice From the Sky - [_She presses her hands over her ears while her Muse screams in torment._] SHUT UP! PLEASE! God, save us all, hell has come! Jeez! [_shakes her head as Treize looks confused at the strange and suffering Voice From the Sky._] 

Treize - [_He blinks, but there is no cute `boink, boink' sound because he isn't cute. He is Treize and Treize is a stupid knave._] Um… Okay. [_He shakes his head starts skipping down the road. But, because he isn't cute, he trips._] 

Voice From the Sky and her Muse- HEEHEEHEE! STUPID TREIZE! 

Muse- [_whispers loudly to Voice From the Sky_] Do it again! [_Voice From the Sky grins and nods. Treize stands up but falls over forward with an uncute THUMP!, his stubby arms flailing uselessly._] HEEHEEHEE! [_Voice From the Sky smiles proudly._] 

MEANWHILE… 

[_The setting is Quatre's cute, little- um… _[blinks]_ I mean big, sprawling estate… ?O_O?_] 

Quatre- [_lounging in a chair by a giant pool. He is surrounded by minions who are waiting on him. To the left is a huge mansion made of woven straw panels. Quatre sips lemonade from a glass that is almost taller than himself through one of those plastic maze straws._] That was a good idea! Building a house. Now I have another estate! 

Voice From the Sky - Once Quatre- Um… Quatre? 

Quatre- [_smiles_] Yes? 

Voice From the Sky - [_dully, some what annoyed_] What's that? 

Quatre- Oh! That's the mansion my minions built out of the hay- I mean straw. And I figured if I had a mansion, why not put in a pool, some tennis courts, a Jacuzzi, a small guest house- for when the rest of the guys come over- an artificial fish pond, and a few palm trees to give it the right mood! [_giggles_] 

Voice From the Sky - [_blinks_] Boink, boink! [_slowly_] I guess it will have to do. Back to the story. Who should come down the road, but Treize - 

Odd People From Nowhere Who Are Walking By Because It's Convenient - Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…! [_Odd People From Nowhere Who Are Walking By Because It's Convenient run screaming into the night, never to be seen or heard from again. Treize walks onto the scene, a huge Band-Aid on his forehead and a few more bruises everywhere else. He stops when he sees Quatre._] 

Treize - Maybe he'll be my friend! 

Quatre- [_He over-hears that annoying voice and is quickly carried into the large mansion by a herd of minions. Suddenly, the Winner family's private jet takes off from a place some where behind the large straw mansion._] I want to go to Duo's! 

Voice From the Sky - [_groans_] God, I've mutilated this… [_clears her throat then continues, louder_] Ahem! Well, the force of the Winner family's private jet taking off causes the straw hou- mansion to shake slightly. Little drifts of straw float down around door. [_Treize begins to sneeze and his eyes get huge and puffy. He stumbles around blindly, flailing about. His antics bring him closer and closer to the mansion. With one, final stumble, Treize flew against the poor building, knocking the whole thing down._] 

Treize - ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! [_He stumbles to his feet and makes his way down the road to get away from the straw._] ACHOO! ACHOO! 

Voice From the Sky - Finally away from the straw, Treize begins to feel better- 

Audience- Booooo! 

Voice From the Sky - [_sweatdrops and quickly continues_] -but not too much better. He continues on his quest to find a friend. 

Treize - [_sad and all alone (But no one cares because he's Treize and he isn't cute.)_] I guess I need to look some place else for a friend. Well, [_He begins skipping down the road._] I'll just see if there are any more people down this road. [_He sees a little birdie standing by the road._] Do you want to be my friend, little birdie? [_The little birdie feels threatened by the squeaky voice and does what comes natural to any poor little birdie who's being attacked- it dove at Treize's eyes, trying to peck out his brains through his sockets. Of course it was unsuccessful. You see, Treize is a stupid knave. He has no brains. When the poor little birdie realized that the monster could not be killed, it flew away._] Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! 

Random Audience Member- Poor Treize! [_A shower of bottles and trash pellet the stupid Random Audience Member until he is dead. Then, a heard of wild chibi Wufeis dance around the body then drag it off to be sacrificed to the goddess, Nataku._] 

Voice From the Sky - [_sweatdrops_] This is getting too weird! [_Muse giggles._] 

MEANWHILE… 

[_Somewhere far, but not too far, away, Wufei labors with his bricks. Suddenly, a little, rather evil-looking chibi Heero pops his head out of the bush._] 

Heero- Psst! Hey! Wufei! [_Wufei looks around until he spots Heero._] I've got something much better than those bricks for you to build your house out of. 

Wufei- [_excited_] Really? 

Heero- Yeah. [_whispers slyly_] But it'll cost ya. 

Wufei- How much? 

Heero- No, no. Not money. [_He grins and starts to laugh maniacally, but stops, not wanting to use his one manic laugh for this `episode'. (4)_] I just want a favor when you're done… 

Note- (4) If you really pay attention to the show, you will notice that Heero never gets two maniacal-laughing scenes in one episode. 

MEANWHILE… 

[_Duo is struggling with the sticks, using a small tube of modeling glue to try to keep them together._] 

Duo- [_He throws a glue-covered stick on the ground in frustration._] Stupid glue! Stupid sticks! This story is dumb! [_crosses his arms over his chest_] I refuse to work under these conditions! I have rights! There are labor laws! Child labor laws! Chibi labor laws! [_stops, blinks_] Boink, boink! Aren't there? [_Suddenly, a loud, roaring sound fills the air as Quatre's jet lands next to Duo. Duo dives out of the way of one of the wheels and towards a bush for cover. The bush doesn't give way to him, however. It falls over with a loud, echoing THUMP! as the hard cardboard hits the ground. Quatre, who was just opening the door to his jet, stops._] 

Quatre- O_o 

Duo- [_sitting up, little bushes flying around his head_] Ooch! Cheap set! [_He throws the fake bushes away angrily._] Stupid prop department! [_Quatre walks over to his friend and helps him up._] I'll kill them all! 

Quatre- [_yelling in a whiny voice_] We shouldn't be fighting at all! 

Duo- I wasn't fighting. 

Quatre- [_quietly_] Well… good. Because we shouldn't be fighting at all. 

Duo- [_rolls his eyes_] Jeez! Do you ever get any good lines? You'd think you could buy some, at least! 

Quatre- [_defensively_] I like my lines. [_slowly_] They're… They're…[_A long pause follows as the young millionaire tries to think of something convincing._] 

Duo- Really sucky? Yep, I know. You could buy better lines from a three-humped camel, [_covers one eye_] with one eye, [_hops on one foot_] and no legs with a purple half-penny! 

Quatre- O_O Um… I can buy half a purple camel? [_looks confused. Duo loses his balance and falls over on the pile that was supposed to be his house. Glue-soaked sticks clung to his hair, clothes, and face._] 

Duo- Oi! 

Quatre- Are you all right? 

Duo- Yeah. *o_O I think. [_He stands up and walks towards the larger pile of unused sticks, pulling the sticks that were stuck to him off and dropping them as he went. One stuck to his hand and he began to shake it furiously. The stick finally came loose, flew towards Quatre, and stuck to the side of his head with a loud SLAP!_] 

Quatre- Ooch! [_He begins to cry. A dozen Random Minions (5) flock around him, giving him things, saying comforting stuff, and over all trying to make him feel better._] 

Random Minion #4- [_pulls stick off Quatre's head_] 

Random Minion #97- It's okay. [_gives him a lollipop_] 

Random Minion #367- We love you, Master Quatre! 

Random Minion #210- You're the best! [_gives him some toys_] 

Random Minion #12- Please don't be upset! 

Random Minion #253- Master Quatre, I brought you some tea! [_gives him tea_] 

Random Minion #304- I brought you cookies! [_gives him cookies_] 

Random Minion #76- I brought you candy, Master Quatre! [_gives him candy_] 

Random Minion #184- I brought you- [_Duo shoves all the Random Minions aside._] 

Duo- [_yelling_] Alright! Alright! He stopped crying! You can go now! [_shoves Random Minion #49 who is walking away slowly_] God, can we please just finish this?! 

Quatre- [_His arms are laden with cookies, candy, toys, balloons, money, and other expensive objects. He looks at Duo disapprovingly._] You should be nicer. [_Quatre puts everything down except a stuffed Sandrock._] Cute! [_He hugs Sandrock as Duo rolls his eyes._] 

Duo- Voice From the Sky, can we move on? 

Voice From the Sky- [_sheepishly_] Sorry. Um… [_looks at Muse for inspiration…_] 

Note- (5) This was also taken from the authors of the other Treize fics. Hope no one minds me using them… [_sweatdrop_] 

MEANWHILE… 

[_The scene opens with Wufei working quickly to build something. Heero is standing off to the side, leaning against the wall of whatever was being built, a smirk on his face. He glares sky-ward as Wufei begins to cackle evilly._] 

Heero- [_low, menacing_] Give me a walk-on part? [_sneers_] Didn't really think you'd get away with it, did you? 

Voice From the Sky- [_BIG sweatdrop_] Um… Easy, Heero-chan. I, um, I'm sorry. It was her fault! [_points accusingly at Muse. Muse ducks behind the computer table._] Coward! Come out and- [_Muse throws printer at Voice From the Sky. Voice From the Sky ducks and decides to continue. Anything had to be safer than staying where she was..._] 

MEANWHILE… 

[_Quatre is kneeling on the ground by a mini-mansion he and Duo had built out of the sticks. He is still holding the stuffed Gundam, his eyes sparkling happily. Duo stands up and looks around. Silence. Quatre begins to look out of sorts. More silence. Duo puts his hands on his hips and taps his foot impatiently. The silence persists. Suddenly, a cricket can be heard._] 

Cricket- Cricket! Cricket, cricket! Cricket, cricket! (6) 

Quatre- [_He becomes frantic and begins yelling rather like a girl._] Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Where is it? Kill it! Kill it! [_Thirty Random Minions run out of the jet. Ten of them pick Quatre up and deliver him to safety, while the other twenty find the evil bug and start stepping on it._] WE SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING AT ALL! [_Random Minions leave and the silence resumes._] 

Duo- [_blinks_] Boink, boink! [_Quatre finally breaks the silence._] 

Quatre- [_whispering_] Why are we being quiet? Isn't your line next? 

Duo- [_annoyed_] Yeah, but Voice From the Sky didn't do the stupid introduction to the scene. 

Voice From the Sky- Sorry. Here we find our two heroes building a- O_o What's that? [_Duo looks down at the stick house that stands about as high as his knees._] 

Duo- My house? 

Voice From the Sky- [_yelling_] Oi! Okay, okay! We can work with this! [_She returns to a strained narrator tone._] Little do they know, Treize is coming down the road. 

Duo- Yeah we do. You just told us. 

Quatre- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeee! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… [_Duo could only take so many O's. He takes the stuffed Sandrock and whacks the screaming boy up side the head with it. Quatre stops screaming._] Sorry. 

Duo- [_shrugs_] S'okay. [_gives him back the Sandrock._] Voice From the Sky? 

Voice From the Sky- When Treize appears on the horizon Quatre and Duo run aboard the Winner family's private jet and fly away. [_They do so. Treize doesn't really notice as the jet takes off because he's stupid. He just keeps walking along. When he gets to the house he drops to his knees and peers into one of the windows._] 

Treize - Hello? Is there anyone in there who wants to be my friend? [_No One answers._] 

No One- NO! [_Treize begins to pout._] 

Treize - Fine! [_He stands up and trips over the house, knocking it down. He falls and lands on the glue-covered sticks Duo had left in a pile earlier. He stands back up looking very uncute covered in sticks and globs of glue._] Whaaaaaaaaaaa! 

Note- (6) Inside joke I added just for my very best friend's- and my own- amusement! 

MEANWHILE… 

Voice From the Sky- On the Winner family's private jet… 

Duo- Where are we going? [_He is playing with the buttons on the phone that is attached to the armrest of his seat._] 

Quatre- Wufei's. [_He takes the phone away and puts it back on the receiver. Duo jumps out of his seat and makes a disgusted face._] 

Duo- EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!! Why do we have to go to his house? Why can't we go some where like Vegas or Atlantis City? I don't want to go to Wufei's house! [_crosses his arms over his chest_] 

Voice From the Sky- Duo shut up. [_pause_] Don't you mean Atlantic City? 

Quatre- Yeah. I think. [_looks cute and confused_] Why would you want to go there? 

Duo- [_ginning_] Girls and money! 

Quatre- [_looking even more confused_] Then why not just go to my house? I bet it's closer than either of those places. 

Duo- O_o [_blink_] Boink, boink! [_slowly_] Um… no, Quatre. No. [_Quatre continues to look confused while Duo sits back down, terrible thoughts of twenty-nine female Quatres running through his head. When he can no longer stand being still, he jumps back up and walks over to where his friend is sitting._] Are we there yet? 

Quatre- No. 

Duo- [_grins_] Are we there yet? 

Quatre- No. 

Duo- Are we there yet? 

Quatre- No. 

Duo- Are we there yet? 

Quatre- [_annoyed_] No. 

Duo- Are we there yet? 

Quatre- [_louder_] No. 

Duo- Are we there yet? 

Quatre- [_louder_] No. 

Duo- Are we there yet? 

Quatre- [_yells_] No! 

Duo- Are we there yet? 

Quatre- [_screams_] NO! [_Duo is set flying backward up the aisle. He stops when he is slammed into the cockpit door. Duo shakes his head a little and stands up._] 

Duo- I only asked a question. [_He looks at the door and curiously mutters_] I wonder… [_He pushes the door open and walks in. There is one Random Minion flying the jet. Duo walks up behind him and yells._] Hi! [_Random Minion #34 jumps._] 

Random Minion #34- What are you doing in here? 

Duo- I was just looking for the bathroom. 

Random Minion #34- It's at the other end of the plane. 

Duo- [_pause_] Oh. [_He stands there silently for a few seconds, not moving. Then, pointing at a flashing red button, says_] What's that? 

Random Minion #34- Don't touch it. 

Duo- Why? 

Random Minion #34- Because it's the Don't Touch Me Button ©. 

Duo- What happens if I touch it? 

Random Minion #34- [_annoyed_] Don't. [_Duo reaches out and is just about to touch it when Random Minion #34 slaps his hand away._] Don't! Go back and sit with Master Quatre! 

Duo- [_pouts_] But I want to sit with you. [_He looks up at Random Minion #34 with Big Sad Eyes ©._] 

Random Minion #34- No. 

Duo- [_whimpers pathetically_] Puh-lease? I'll be good. Honest. 

Random Minion #34- [_thinks for a second._] No. [_Duo stomps on his foot._] 

Duo- Fine! I don't like you any ways! [_He pushes the Don't Touch Me Button © and runs out of the cockpit._] Quatre! Your minion was being mean to me! [_Quatre looks up as Duo runs towards him, followed closely by a red-faced Random Minion #34._] 

Quatre- [_yells disapprovingly_] Random Minion #34! Being mean isn't… [_pause. He finishes lamely_] nice. Stop it. 

Random Minion #34 - But he pushed the Don't Touch Me Button ©! 

Quatre- [_thinking_] Well, if it's a Don't Touch Me Button © and Duo _pushed_ it, I don't think he did anything wrong, now did he? 

Duo and Random Minion- [_blink_] Boink, boink! [_They both stare at Quatre- Random Minion #34 in confused admiration for his young master's perception and intelligence, and Duo because of how easily he had reasoned that out._] 

Duo- Yeah! Now leave me alone! [_Random Minion #34 looks embarrassed and walks back to the cockpit._] You sure told him! Wow! I wish I had a minion to push around! [_glomps Quatre_] Can I have a minion? I'll be nice to you from now on, I promise! And I'll never, like, be mean to Trowa either. Please? [_Big Sad Eyes ©_] And I'll feed it and give it baths and take it for walks! Puh-lease? 

Quatre- I, um… guess. [_Duo starts jumping up and down, clapping his hands in cute, little, chibi joy._] 

Duo- Cool! Which one do I get? Do you have a catalog? Can I have Random Minion #666? I want a smart one, not a stupid one like Random Minion #34! [_Quatre pushes Duo off him._] 

Quatre- I don't have six-hundred-and-sixty-six minions! I only have 488! [_softly_] I think. 

Dou- Then can I rename my minion? 

Quatre- [_He crosses his arms over his chest firmly and shakes his head._] No. [_Duo pouts, but does not dispute the response._] 

Duo- Fine. Then can I have Random Minion #1? 

Quatre- That's Abdaul. You see, Random Minion #1, 2 and 3 are my personal servants. They were all given names. But you can have Random Minion #4. 

Duo- Naw! I want Random Minion #47. No. #403. No, wait. Random Minion #181… [_He continues this as Quatre waits patiently for him to make up his mind._] I know! I want Random Minion #34! 

Quatre- [_Who had been stacking crystal glasses and silverware looked up, his eyes heavy with boredom._] You can't. [_dully_] He's flying the plane. 

Duo- Fine! Then I want Random Minion #4! [_Quatre sighed in exasperation._] 

MEANWHILE… 

[_The setting is a nice, little… ?O_o? _[sigh]_ Never mind._] 

Voice From the Sky- O_O [_Voice From the Sky stares at the huge fortress which had billions of laser cannons sticking out of every wall. There is a huge tower at one end of the structure with a blinking light on top of it. There is only one window at the back of the building. Wufei can be seen looking out._] Um… As we enter the humble home of our third little Gundam pilot, we join cute, little, PEACE-LOVING Wufei. [_Wufei looks up as his name is said. Voice From the Sky slowly continues, glancing around the room._] And Heero is no where to be seen. [_sigh of relief_] There is suddenly a knock at the door… 

Wufei- Come in. [_The door opens and a servant walks in followed by a whimpering Quatre and a Duo, who has the plush Sandrock stuffed in his mouth to keep him quiet, both with their arms tied behind them. Following the two is Heero with his gun drawn and pointed at the poor boys._] 

Heero- They claim to know you. 

Wufei- Heero, let them go! [_Heero grudgingly pulls out a knife and cuts the ropes._] Sorry guys. 

Duo- [_He rips Sandrock out of his mouth and throws it on the ground, yelling._] You should be! I was just about to get my minion! I'll have you know- [_He stops, spotting the large computer/satellite set up. He runs over and plops down in the chair._] Cool! What kinda games ya got? 

Wufei- None. It's a Treize Tracking Device ©. Heero put it in for me. [_Quatre picks up his stuffed Gundam and hugs it protectively._] 

Duo- [_yelling in disgust_] Why do you want to track Treize? That's gross! 

Wufei- [_rolls eyes_] I don't want to track him down! I want to be able to tell if he's coming near the house! 

Duo- Oh. Well, I'm not Treize. Leave me alone. [_He starts spinning in circles in the office chair. Quatre looks out the window at the setting sun._] 

Quatre- Boy, this sure has been a long day. I hope Treize doesn't try to break in while we're sleeping. [_Heero pulls his gun out from its Secret Spot ©._] 

Heero- If he does, I will kill him. 

Quatre- We shouldn't be fighting at all! 

Heero- o_O Sure. [_Duo is still spinning when the computer starts beeping madly. He jumps out of the chair._] 

Duo- [_yells_] I didn't do it! It was Heero! 

Wufei- Treize is coming! 

Quatre- Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeee! Nooooooooooooooooooo… [_Heero points the gun at him and he stops abruptly._] Sorry. 

Heero-… [_puts gun away slowly_] Wufei, you go up to the tower and let me know when you see him. Duo, go down to the artillery storage room and get a gun. 

Duo- Yay! [_runs out of the room_] 

Heero- I'll take care of the manual controls up here. [_Wufei nods and leaves the room while Heero sits in the chair and begins typing._] 

Quatre- [_excited_] What do I get to do, Heero? 

Heero- Stay out of my way. [_Quatre pouts and runs out of the room. Heero pays no attention to him as he continues typing. Suddenly, Wufei's voice can be heard on the walkie-talkie._] 

Wufei- [_from walkie-talkie_] I spotted him Heero. He's coming up on the west side of the fortress. 

Heero- Mission accepted. [_He turns the walkie-talkie off and brings up a surveillance screen on the computer. It shows Treize skipping happily down the road, a few sticks still stuck in his hair. Heero then pushes a few buttons and his exact location showed up. He typed a little more, aiming all the missiles he had at Treize. He begins his maniacal laughter as he pushes the button to launch them._] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MEANWHILE… 

[_Treize is skipping down the road, trying to look at the bright side to the day, just like Barney told Tommy to do in episode 36 of Barney and Friends. (7)_] 

Voice From the Sky- Treize walked along until he saw the big, really mean-looking house with all the guns pointed at him as he moved down the road. 

Treize - I wonder if there's anyone there who would like to be my friend. [_Just as Treize is about to walk up and knock on the door a bazillion missiles flew at him from out of no where. He just stood there because he's Treize and he's stupid and uncute. The missiles explode, but he does not die. His ghetto 80's Ken Doll © hair deflected all the damage._] 

Note- (7) I honestly don't know what Barney said to Tommy in episode 36. And I really don't care. However, if you do, shoot yourself. Now. For the good of humanity. 

MEANWHILE… 

[_Heero stares at the monitor in horror._] 

Heero- What the hell?! [_He runs to the window, pulling out his gun. He begins to shoot Treize, screaming_] Die, demon from hell! [_Treize giggles girlishly._] 

Treize - Stop it! [_giggle_] That [_giggle_] tickles! [_Wufei and Duo return, both of them empty handed because Wufei thought Treize would be dead and Duo had stopped to throw rocks at the servant who had tied him up earlier, forgetting to get any more guns._] 

Wufei- What? He's still alive?! 

Duo- O_O Wow. 

Quatre- We can escape in my Winner family's private jet! Come on! [_They all follow Quatre to the Winner family's private jet and get in it. They fly away and leave Treize standing there stupidly, still giggling. Suddenly, the little birdie flies up and lands on Treize's shoulder._] 

Treize - Oh! Little birdie! Did you change your mind? Do you want to be my friend now? [_The little birdie starts peeking his head._] OUCH! STOP IT, LITTLE BIRDIE! THAT HURTS! SSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTOOOOOOPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! [_runs down the road_] 

Voice From the Sky- [_speaking loudly over the screams_] Well, that's all we have for now. Thank you for coming and don't forget to tip your waitress on the way out! [_Muse giggles, poking Treize in the back as he runs down the road, the little birdie still clinging to his shoulder, pecking his head._] 

~ The End ~ 


End file.
